It’s 11:59PM on December 31, 2010.
It’s 12AM on January 1.
Ten minutes later, realize nothing has changed.
Nothing amazing happens just because it’s not 2010 anymore. It’s still just another day.
Then I go to my room and sleep.
first off i would just like to give a big middle finger to:
- 2010, you pretty much sucked
- people i don’t like because… i just don’t like you
- and the taco bell worker who never gives me enough packets of sauce to put on my 5 crunchy tacos.
but now it’s 2011. (or it will be in 7 ish hours) i thought about how much or actually how little i’ve accomplished in the last year and i realize that i’m pretty much letting all the time go to waste. basically, i just thought 2010 was somewhat a leisure year. in the school year, i had classes, in the summer i took classes, and once fall hit, i took and still am taking classes. when i wasn’t taking classes, i just did nothing, i didn’t take advantage of the time i had and chased my dreams/goals that i had set out for myself. when not occupied with school or practice, i want to take the time and spend it with my family and those around me. i guess it wasnt after this year that i realized how important it is to spend time doing what you love with the people you love instead of just sitting around and thinking about how much everything sucks.
i’ve set some rules and goals that i want myself to follow and fulfill (hopefully) not just by the end of the year but i want to carry them out throughout the rest of my life yknow? just a few:
- work my ass off. “no pain, no gain” if i really want it, i will work for it.
- DONT FUCKING PROCRASTINATE. i guess the transition from freshman to sophomore year was pretty bad because i was so used to relaxing and not having so much work.
- handle any problems calmly. i’ve learned that doing things out of a sudden burst of anger is not good for you or anyone.
- do something for someone else. i love the feeling i get when someone just helps me, even if it’s the smallest thing because i know that someone cares and i want to be able to give that happy feeling to someone else. i’m working my way up, and when i get older, i want to be able to have a positive impact on someone’s life and let them know that there are other people that care and are willing to reach out to them too. even the smallest problems matter.
- have a positive attitude. i used to think that if i was negative, i wouldn’t be disappointed but it’s also not very healthy.
- eat healthier. in order for me to spend as much time with everyone around me, health will take a big role. i ate healthily during cross country season and i hope i can do it for the rest of the year. i guess i can have some junk food occasionally. hehe : )
- take advantage of every oppurtunity! i guess this this is one main goal. success requires risk and sacrifice. be spontaneous and take risks, because it might lead to something bigger and greater. and if it doesn’t it’s fine because God doesn’t close one door without opening another. maybe something greater is in store. i just know that when i grow older, i can look back and be glad that i took the chance instead of wonder “what if”
it’s a new year which means a fresh start. i want to change my attitude towards everything and although it might not be a big change at first, it will be when in like 10 years or something. i’m glad this year is ending. new year, fresh start, and no one’s gonna stop me.
perfection will be the death of you.
over the years, it feels like Christmas becomes less and less special in this house. i think it’s probably because i’ve grown older and i don’t believe in Santa anymore so my dad doesn’t act like it’s a big deal. also it’s probably because it’s just me, my mom, dad and my dog. all of us are very busy, so we don’t exchange gifts, i just make them cards and give them cash because they rather not have me go out and buy things that they wouldn’t use, especially since we’re short on cash now. as for me, they just take me to the mall and get me something. has Christmas lost it’s meaning? in a way, no. my mom and i try to keep up the Christmas spirit by acting really stupid and goofy during the holidays. i mean, isn’t that what it’s about? not about the presents but just spending time with the people that you love (even though it does seem like just a normal day) i dont know.. i just hope that when i get older and have more time, i can bring back the spirit we used to have when i was little. i think when i get married, have children etc, i’m going to make a big deal out of the holidays and invite family over because i probably want my children to spend Christmas with a big family with lots of good vibes, not to spend it just like any regular day.
i absolutely HATE when people who i’m not super close with comes over to my house and when they are in my room, they start opening all my drawers and looking through all my stuff. i don’t care if the drawer you opened was empty but excuse me, haven’t you ever heard of something called PRIVACY?! don’t give me that bullshit and tell me you’re bored. it’s just straight up rude going through someone’s stuff. i mean if you are just quickly glancing around my room or something, it’s fine, but just because you’re at my house for a while doesn’t mean you get to explore and look at all my things. have some manners.
if i didnt tell you to stop, you probably would’ve went ahead and just walked into my parent’s room too and looked at everything too.
this isn’t even “looking around” it’s more like snooping.
so i was going to turn in my Lord of the Flies essay late, but it turns out there are no late submissions and my teacher wont be collecting hard copies.
i didnt read the book either but i managed to do a 1,188 word essay in about 5 hours. this is one of the craziest shit i’ve ever done for school and i actually tried, meaning i DIDNT just pull this outta my ass. i feel so accomplished, please leave your snide comments to yourself, i would just like to acknowledge myself for something for once. LOL yeah i dont even know why i’m excited. that one second of relief i felt when i clicked ‘submit’ 1 1/2 hours before its due and being able to just sit back and relax for a bit is totally priceless. hehehe goodnight.
sometimes even the most beautiful moments cannot be captured in photographs.
they point at the person.. and speak so loud !
and i just be like SHHHHHH ! FUUU
i’m talking to someone and obviously they are wrong and when they finally realize it, they scream and tell you to shut up and they repeatedly say “whatever who caressssss” hmm… 10 seconds ago YOU CARED DUMBASS.
so uh, you’re going to throw a tantrum and avoid the issue just because you’re wrong and you won’t admit it? seriously i know 5th graders more mature than you. you’re in high school and you need to act like it.
today sucked a bit in the morning but at the end of the day, i think today was very productive and satisfying day.
+/- of today and the rest of winter break ( :
-had a surprise english quiz on the book Lord of the Flies… which i didnt read
+ my group got 92/100 for written portion and 90/100 for presentation portion of the religion project! which means my grade will be a C!
- huge religion test on the monday we get back and i have an essay due during winter break. MUST STUDY or else the my grade will drop back down. i can’t get D, i can’t qualify for UC and i dont want to pay for summer school (if they have it)
+ talked to him today.. a lot. had a pretty good conversation heheh
+ XC banquet tomorrow! gonna wear my floral skirt keke ^____^
+ i have practice monday-thursday so i get to see him. LOL and i’ll stay in shape hopefully.
+ going to see my bestfriend and shop/catch up with her! ( :
+ quality time with my mommy!
- i have to start studying for all my classes and think about SAT classes
- tutoring homework… which i didn’t even start yet. like always
+ sleep sleep sleep and MORE SLEEP.
studying and tests=buzzkill. oh well, at least i’ll have some fun during break. i hope break goes by slowly.
“can you tell me how can one miss what she’s never had? how could one reminisce when there is no past.”
if it really meant something to you, you wouldn’t bother going around telling people what good deeds you do all the time. instead, you would be satisfied because you know you did it from the bottom of your heart and it wouldn’t matter if no one knows.
there’s a difference between helping out to feel good knowing that you made a difference and just doing it because you want recognition. some people just help, thinking that later they can talk about how great and selfless they are, when instead, they are self-centered, using and taking the purpose out the charities for their own selfish reasons.
): its pretty disgusting. this guy’s a rebel, instead of going on my face, this pimple got lost and ended up on my arm. maybe it’s being nice since i’m tired of having them on my face. lol i would take a picture but i keep getting distracted with all the webcam effects on here. heh.
oh you know just sitting here with cramps and waiting for my ipod to come in the mail. then in a bit, going to friend’s house to do a project.
this is great, i don’t have time for anything because i’m swamped with a whole bunch of work. sorry if i haven’t been able to reply to calls of texts. : (
…. and just like that, all the stress is back.
i never read Goosebumps. that’s how scared i was of scary stories. even playing the freaking Goosebumps board game gave me the chills.
i was diong my homework and my mom wanted me to look some lotion/perfume frmo Victoria Secret that someone gave her.
i wanted to smell it, i mean who doesnt? its lotion! so i put it right in front of my nose/mouth, push down the cap, and squeeze the bottle gently. being the idiot that i am, i squeezed a little too hard and lotion squirted out of the bottle and got in my mouth, on my lips, and my nose.
then my mom started cracking up.
at least it wasn’t in public….
god, i have a huge headache.
some people are so ridiculous. i’m simply telling you that if you want to know something about a project, then you ask. you dont wait til someone asks and say that you were waiting. dumbass are you going to wait forever? why are you even blowing it out of proportion and talking about some other shit? you trying to put me on blast bitch? obviously this argument is pathetic and so are you. i might not even talk you to anymore. haha i’m not complaining though, me and my other friend have put up with you and your crap long enough. toodaloo mother fucker.
hellooo! omg yesterday was hell. lol i’ll tell you some other time cuz its super long.
i have a feeling its something bad? haha what happened? YOU TRADED JACKETS WITH DUCKLING?! hehe idk
no ): i was just going to ask you a couple days ago haha. that means im going to have to get a new computer cuz i cant open itunes, my micosoft word is super outdated so i cant read some files cuz yeah, and yeah LOL my brain is dead because of my project so excuse the poor grammar/ sentences stuff yeah
lmao not as stupid as my answer hahaha : )
most of the stress is gone! i will finally be able to get more than 4 hours of sleep… hopefully! i am never procrastinating again! whew